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Testimonial by Vrindavan Vilasini D.D.
Testimonial by
Vrindavan Vilasini Devi Dasi (Peru)
Paramadvaiti
Swami (PS) is a pilgrim monk living in the order of sannyas or celibacy for
over 30 years. Since then, he travels around the world lecturing at
universities and performing festivals of universal love as the leader of the
Vrinda mission, which he founded.
When I met him
in 1997, he seemed to me to be the most lucid, noble person with the most
interesting ideas about spiritual life in the modern world. At that time I was
studying at the university and I asked my parents for permission to freeze a
year of my university career so that I could live in one of the temples he
directed and learn about spiritual life. He gave me initiation that year and
became my Guru or spiritual master. I spent one of the most beautiful years of
my life, I am happy and grateful to have had that experience.
One night,
after one of his lectures during his visit to Santiago de Chile in 2012, his
secretary tells me that PS wants to spend the night in my house, that he is
tired and prefers to go to a quiet place. He was my spiritual master and I had
known him for more than 15 years so I took it as a gesture of trust and ran to
prepare an adequate space where I could sleep and to get some food to offer
him. At that time, I lived alone in a small apartment in the city.
After 30
minutes of arriving at my apartment, along with other disciples, PS fell asleep
sitting on a chair, I offered him my bed in my room to rest. The majority left,
only PS, his secretary, another disciple who accompanied me, and myself were
left. PS slept in my bed and his secretary accompanied him in the room.
Together with the other disciple, I slept on a sofa bed in the living room.
The next
morning, when it was still early morning, PS woke up, took a bath, and was
ready to leave for the trip that morning, leaving Santiago for his next
destination. Everything happened super-fast and without realizing it, all were
ready to leave when I was just preparing some breakfast to offer them. When I
was still in the kitchen, I noticed that PS was asking them to take their
suitcases down so they could leave soon. At that very moment he entered the
kitchen, I looked at him surprised because he quickly approached me and grabbed
me tightly and pushed me to the wall, lifted me in weight with his body and
tried to kiss me. In the middle of the shock by the experience I tried to push
him but it was not easy, he doubled my weight and imposed himself on mine.
After some
time that I can't remember, and realizing my refusal, he stopped pushing me,
released me and without saying a word left. I was frozen, trembling, scared, confused;
I didn't understand what had just happened. I couldn't find answers, only a
great sadness and loneliness for what I had lived and nobody could imagine.
I had to go to
work that same morning, so I took courage, wiped my tears and tried to block
out my brain so I could get on with what I had to do - I kept doing this
blockade in my brain until I found out in 2018 that my teacher had sexually
harassed one of his disciples and she decided to tell it publicly after having
spoken with the authorities of the mission who besides not helping her,
offended and ignored her.
On another
occasion, and after some time, I met PS by chance at an airport in Colombia. He
had a different destiny than mine and we ran into each other in the boarding area, his
secretary was also accompanying him. We went to his boarding gate because my
flight left after his and when he said goodbye he quickly approached me, kissed
me on the corner of my lips and left immediately. I froze and saw him turn to
look at me as he left; again I experienced a terrible feeling similar to the
previous experience.
When the case
of his female secretary (in late 2018) became public, PS received many
communications trying to know the truth directly from his lips, his answer has
remained almost unchanged; he says he does not remember what he is accused of.
In the midst
of the comeback of the sexual harassment scandal about his female secretary,
one morning I received a message from his secretary telling me that PS wants to
talk to me. I received his call, which had the objective of knowing if I was
accusing him. I told him no, but since we were talking about it, I reminded him
of what had happened in 2012 and he told me that I was probably mistaken
because he didn't remember anything. I told him that I wasn't wrong and that I
remembered everything perfectly well. He told me for sure that he must have
tripped and that’s why he fell on me. I felt mocked. Feeling my silence he told
me that if it was how I say it was, to forgive him and to please forget it.
Unfortunately I have not been able to do it (to forget).
Since that
denunciation (of the female secretary), some other cases similar to mine have
been revealed. A relationship between him and another of his disciples has also
been revealed and some other people have reported that they have witnessed
their sexual encounters and other deviations from his sannyas vows.
Unfortunately,
the reaction in the VRINDA mission to this scandal borders on fanaticism and
the victims who decided to make their testimonies public have been branded as
liars, madwomen, buskers and/or guilty of what has happened to them.
I am writing
these lines because the attacks, insults and fanatical support for Paramadvaiti
Swami affect us doubly. In addition to having been violated by whom we believed
to be our spiritual father, by whom we should be protected, by an authority in
our lives, the entire community humiliates us, pretending that this whole
process is presented in a transparent manner according to the principles of
truthfulness.
My feeling in
writing is one of disappointment and outrage. Disappointment at the reaction of
those who were my spiritual brothers and sisters to the complaints we are
making and outrage at the farce that the VRINDA mission continues to promote.
This situation
is unacceptable because it normalizes a violent act against a group of women,
because it violates our integrity, because it endangers other women, mothers,
sisters and daughters and promotes the abuse of institutional power in
countries where this mission is present.
I hope that my
testimony will serve as proof in the list of more than 15 cases of sexual
harassment known so far by Paramadvaiti Swami; I support those who are risking
their personal tranquility by publicly speaking out for justice and necessity
for our healing process and I fully sympathize with the request for
transparency that my spiritual brother Pariksit prabhu is demanding.
It is my hope
that this manifesto of truth will contribute to finding the clarity necessary
to heal all the well-wishers of PS who are affected by this scandal and deserve
to know the truth.
Editor’s
note:
1. This testimony by Vrindavan Vilasini d.d. was published yesterday on: https://vrindatestimonios.blogspot.com, a website started by the victims themselves. They encourage others to come forward with their case: vrinda.testimonios@gmail.com
2. Sexual assault is a crime. It includes unwanted touching, kissing, grabbing and rape.
3. Some victims already reported the sexual assault to the German Embassy in the U.S. and some South American countries.
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1. Original English text here.
2. Original Spanish text here.
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